You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
why is half of my head shaved?
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