Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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