I look better un-naked...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
