MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
