I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
