oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
