I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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