Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
