so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
