THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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