she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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