he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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