I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
