I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
PANTIES FOUND
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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