there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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