First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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