I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
