you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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