Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
