Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
