he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
