I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
