We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
