You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He passed out mid-signature
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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