i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
