the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
