Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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