I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
