I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You're like the curious george of whores
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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