so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
