it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Randomize
