I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
