69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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