i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
