Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
porn star boner night. come get it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
