i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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