Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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