3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
