Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
