He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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