sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
