Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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