So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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