the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
