btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
