Who wears a wallet chain?!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
