How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
