it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
