Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
