Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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