I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
