Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
