you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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