Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
