i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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