hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
